Moving to a new city is exciting, but let’s be honest, it can also be a bit lonely. Whether you’ve relocated for work, school, or just a fresh start, finding your tribe in an unfamiliar place is one of the biggest challenges of city living.
The good news? You’re definitely not alone, and there are more ways than ever to connect with others, even in the most fast-paced cities.
How to Make Friends and Form Connections
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, here’s how to make friends in a brand-new city.
1. Embrace the “New Kid” Mentality
First things first: It’s totally okay to feel like the new kid in town. That sense of vulnerability? It’s your superpower right now. Being new gives you a perfect excuse to introduce yourself, ask questions, and step outside your comfort zone without feeling awkward. People expect you to be looking to connect, so use that to your advantage.
When someone says, “We should hang out sometime,” follow up. If there’s an event that sounds interesting (even if you’re not 100% sure it’s your thing), go anyway. If you want to make friends, this is the time to say yes more than no.
2. Live With Others
Where you live (and who you live with) can play a huge role in how quickly you make friends.
One of the easiest ways to meet new people is to share a home with them. Choosing an apartment or house share will give you social opportunities right out of the gate. Whether it’s grabbing a coffee in the morning or cooking together in the evening, the casual interactions with roommates can blossom into real friendships over time.
Platforms like SpareRoom make it easy to find like-minded people looking to share homes in cities across the U.S. You can filter listings based on lifestyle preferences, age range, or even hobbies, which means you’re more likely to find flatmates who might also become friends.
3. Become a Regular
One surprisingly effective way to meet people in a new city is to frequent the same spots. Whether it’s a neighborhood coffee shop, a local bar, a yoga studio, or the local dog park, showing up often will help you build familiarity with the staff and the other regulars.
Over time, you’ll start to recognize faces, exchange nods, and then names. Before you know it, you’ll be having conversations and making plans.
4. Use Technology
Apps aren’t just for dating anymore. There’s a growing list of platforms designed specifically for making friends as an adult. Here are some of our faves:
- Bumble BFF – This is a spinoff of the dating app. It helps you connect with people who are also looking for new friendships.
- Meetup – Find interest-based gatherings in your area, from hiking groups to language exchanges to trivia nights.
- Facebook Groups – Search for city-specific groups like “NYC Expats,” “Austin Book Club,” or “Chicago Foodies.”
Showing up matters more than signing up. Pick one event a week and make a point to follow through.
5. Get Into Group Activities
When you do something with other people, especially something you enjoy, it’s easier to form natural bonds. Here are a few ideas:
- Join a Recreational Sports League – Think kickball, soccer, or even dodgeball.
- Take a Class — Cooking, pottery, improv, or dance are all social goldmines.
- Volunteer for a Cause You Care About – Not only will you meet people, but you’ll connect over shared values, too.
6. Say Yes (Even When You Don’t Feel Like It)
Moving to a new city can be draining. Between unpacking, getting around, and adjusting to a new routine, it’s tempting to stay in your comfort zone. But saying “yes” to invitations, especially early on, can really make the process of meeting people a lot easier.
7. Follow Up and Make the First Move
One of the biggest myths about adult friendship is that it happens organically. The truth? Most people are waiting for someone to take the initiative.
If you met someone cool at an event, send them a message. If you exchanged numbers, text and suggest grabbing coffee. The sooner you follow up, the easier it is to build momentum. And if you’re nervous about seeming too eager — don’t be. Chances are, they’re just as eager to make connections, too.
8. Build a Routine, Not Just a Social Life
When you’re new in town, it’s easy to equate “making friends” with constantly being out and about. But don’t overlook the power of routine in helping you feel more connected.
Creating regular habits, such as morning walks, Thursday gym sessions, and Sunday market visits, gives you a rhythm, and it naturally introduces you to other people doing the same things. Over time, those routines create touchpoints with your community and give you that sense of belonging we all crave in a new city.
9. Be Patient (and Kind to Yourself)
Lastly, remember that building a social life takes time. You might meet amazing people right away, or it might take a few months to really find your crew. Don’t get discouraged if connections don’t stick immediately or if it feels like a slow process.
The most important thing? Keep showing up. Keep being curious. Keep putting yourself out there, one small step at a time.
Your people are out there — you just haven’t met them yet.
Final Thoughts
Moving to a new city can feel like you’re starting from scratch, but it’s also a rare opportunity to create the kind of social life you truly want. Whether it starts with your flatmates, a coffee shop regular, or someone you meet through a shared hobby, those early connections can blossom into lasting friendships.